FADE IN TITLE

L’Asperches U.

FADE OUT TITLE

INT. CAMPUS CAFETERIA- DAY

It's late in the day, but the sun still shines brightly through 
the windows of the cafeteria at L’Asperches University located 
in central New Jersey.

(L'Aperches University is in an upper-middle class to high-
class community.  The property was formerly the large estate of 
a rich family and was transformed into a university in the mid 
1900's.  It is a very spacious campus with many trees, shrubs, 
and such.  Students are surrounded by an environment abundant 
in nature and wildlife.

L'Asperches University is a small college when it comes down to 
registered students, about three thousand.  Most of the 
students know each other, if not by name, at least by sight.  
The mascot is a fierce porcupine and the school colors are 
maize and black.)

The cafeteria is full with the DINNER CROWD.  CHESTER, a 
freshman, is walking the perimeter of the room near the back of 
the cafeteria, carefully avoiding any human contact.  The 
eighteen-year-old Chester is short, slightly overweight, and 
looks like he's really only twelve or thirteen.  He seems like 
he's overwhelmed by the number of people he sees.  He's wearing 
a backpack.

Approaching a table in the back of the cafeteria are CASPAR and 
SIMON.  Caspar is an eccentric and highly animated individual.  
When he starts ranting on a topic it looks like a cross between 
extreme hyperactivity and a person about to explode.  At other 
times he is completely mellow.  There is no in-between.  He is 
a junior in his early twenties.  He dresses in jeans and a 
dress shirt.  Simon is a "go with the flow" kind of guy.  He is 
an eighteen-year-old freshman.  Both are carrying a tray with 
their dinner.

			CASPAR
	Oh, oh, oh my God.  Do you believe 
	him, man?  Donovman is such an ass-
	hole.  Not that I'm trying to taint 
	your first impressions or anything.  
	What do you think of the film depart-
	ment so far?

			SIMON
	A main factor in me deciding on this 
	college was the campus itself.  
	Though I admit, after our last class, 
	the department seems a little lacking.

At the table they're approaching sits DAVE.  He is a nineteen-
year-old sophomore.  His dinner is on the table in front of him 
but he is not eating.  He's observing Chester who is still 
walking back and forth along the perimeter confused as to what 
he wants to do.  He is not making eye contact with anyone. 

			CASPAR
	Lacking?  LACKING!  That's putting 
	it mildly.  It'd be generous to say 
	it even exists!  It's like big foot.  
	People hear about it but no one real-
	ly ever sees it with their own eyes.  
	The program's a hoax.

Caspar and Simon reach the table and put down their trays.

			CASPAR
		(to Dave)
	What are you looking at?

Dave turns around and looks up at Caspar.

			DAVE
	The usual.  You're right on time.  
	He's just begun to pace.

Dave turns around again and resumes observing.  Both Caspar and 
Dave look over at CHESTER too.

			CASPAR
	Uh, uh, oh yeah.  That odd little 
	fellow.  A never ending source of 
	entertainment.

Simon smiles knowingly.  Caspar and Simon sit down.

			CASPAR
		(to Dave)
	This is Simon.  I just met him today 
	in class.  He's a fellow film major.

Dave glances up and nods in acknowledgement but then quickly 
returns his eyes upon Chester.  Chester is now in the doorway 
of the kitchenette swaggering back and forth, not knowing what 
to do.

			CASPAR
	Simon, this is Dave.  Dave and I met 
	last year and have been good friends 
	since.

			SIMON
	Nice to meet you.

Dave is still watching Chester who now has a fork in his hand.  
Chester looks in the kitchenette, turns around, then looks in 
the kitchenette, and turns around again.  Dave isn't really 
paying attention to Simon.  He briefly looks at Simon and then 
back at Chester.

			DAVE
	What?... uh, oh.  Nice to meet you 
	too.

			CASPAR
		(to Simon)
	Don't mind him.  We're just entirely 
	fascinated by that weirdo.  We think 
	he has serious problems.

Chester disappears into the kitchenette.  As atmosphere, BRIANA 
EVE comes out of the kitchenette at the same time.  She is in 
her early twenties.  She is thin with small breasts.  She looks 
cute, sweet, innocent.  You'd never know in a million years 
that she is a slut.  With her are two guys, SIDEBURNS and 
HOMELY.  Sideburns has long sideburns.  Homely has long hair 
that hangs over his face and looks unwashed.  Both look grungy, 
worse looking than your average, run of the mill, trailer park 
white trash.

			SIMON
	He's my roommate.

Dave's attention is grabbed by this remark.

			DAVE
	No way!

			SIMON
	Yep.  I'm a little afraid of him my-
	self.

			DAVE
	Well?!  Tell us about him.

Chester comes out of the kitchenette with a tray of food and 
begins to scale the side wall.  They don't notice him.

			SIMON
	His name is Chester.  I've tried to 
	talk to him but don't get much of a 
	response.

			DAVE
	Gee, who would of thought.

Dave and Caspar LAUGH.  Chester now reaches the corner of the 
side and back wall.  He begins to walk along the back wall.  
They still don't notice him.

			SIMON
	When I went in my room the other day, 
	I tried to have a conversation with 
	him.  Before I got two words out of 
	him, he put on his shoes and left.

Caspar LAUGHS hysterically.  Dave and Simon LAUGH too.  Chester 
is now seated alone at a table in the back corner.  His book 
bag is on the table.  The tables around him are all empty.  His 
back is to the entire cafeteria.  Caspar notices him.

			CASPAR
	Sneaky little bastard!  Look...

Caspar nods in Chester's direction.

			CASPAR (CONT’D)
	...He's already at his usual table.

							FADE OUT

FADE IN

INT. FRESHMEN DORM- MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM SECTION 2, 
STUDY/MAILROOM- NIGHT

This room contains desks, chairs, and cubicles, and mailboxes 
line the wall.

Simon is putting in his combination to open his mailbox.  
LETTER BOY, a scanky looking student in ghetto clothes, is also 
checking his mail.  Simon opens his mailbox but, before he 
looks in it, he is startled by Letter Boy.  Letter Boy is 
looking at the letter in his hands.

			LETTER BOY
		(to himself)
	WOW!!!  "Hi.  You don't know me, but 
	I've got a package for you.  The mail 
	room messed up and put it in my box.  
	Come get it.  Briana Eve, Madison Hall, 
	Room 369."  Sweet!

Letter Boy slams the door to his mailbox, which doesn't close 
tightly as a result, and exits through a door leading to a 
staircase.  Simon looks in his mailbox and sees he has nothing.  
He closes the door and makes sure it's locked.  He then exits 
through the divider door in the opposite direction from where 
Letter Boy exited.  

							CUT TO:

INT. FRESHMEN DORM- MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM SECTION 1, LOUNGE- 
CONTINUOUS

Simon enters.  A projection screen is on the wall opposite the 
divider.  Several sofas of different sizes (single, double, and 
triple) are facing the screen.  There are a few coffee tables 
disbursed between them.  There is another exit adjacent to the 
screen.

An action movie has already begun and the lights are out.  
Simon sees that Caspar is sitting in the first row on the end 
by the door.  Dave is sitting behind him.  The room is pretty 
much packed with STUDENTS.

Simon takes a seat three rows back and on the opposite side of 
where Caspar and Dave are.   As he takes his seat, Briana Eve 
comes through the door near the screen with Sideburns and 
Homely following her and exits through the divider door.  
Caspar and Dave notice.

In the movie, there is an explosion.  The guy sitting in front 
of Simon cringes.   Simon realizes it's his roommate, Chester.  
In the movie some guys are physically fighting.

			CHESTER
		(to himself, re-
		garding the movie)
	No!... Stop that!... NO!.... NOOOO!

						DISSOLVE INTO:

INT. FRESHMEN DORM- MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM SECTION 1, LOUNGE- LATER

Briana Eve, Sideburns, and Homely enter through the divider 
door and take a back seat.

Chester is staring at the screen.  He appears like a deer 
looking into a pair of headlights.  In the movie, the 
characters are cursing.

			CHESTER
		(to himself, re-
		garding the movie)
	Don't say that... it's not nice... 
	it's bad...

Chester covers his ears.  Simon looks at him oddly.  Briana 
Eve, Sideburns, and Homely get up and exit through the door by 
the screen.  Caspar and Dave notice.

						DISSOLVE INTO:

INT. FRESHMEN DORM- MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM SECTION 1, LOUNGE- LATER

In the movie, a crime is being committed.  Briana Eve, 
Sideburns, and Homely enter through the door by the screen and 
exit through the divider door.  Caspar and Dave notice.

			CHESTER
		(to himself, re-
		garding the movie)
	What are you doing?... 

Chester points his finger at the screen and waves it up and 
down as he's scolding the characters.

			CHESTER (CONT'D)
		(to himself, re-
		garding the movie)
	...That's against the law... that's 
	wrong...

						DISSOLVE INTO:

INT. FRESHMAN DORM- MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM SECTION 1, LOUNGE- LATER

In the movie, a very revealing sex scene is taking place.  
Chester crumples into a ball, puts his hands over his face as 
he turns his head around.  Chester sees that Simon is sitting 
behind him and quickly breaks eye contact.

Just as the woman in the movie begins to MOAN, Briana Eve 
enters through the divider door.  This time she is not only 
with Sideburns and Homely, but with FIVE OTHER SCANKY LOOKING 
GUYS as well- one of them being Letter Boy.  Chester sees her.

Then the woman in the movie begins a series of MOANS.  Every 
time she lets out a MOAN, Chester squints his eyes shut 
extremely hard and cringes even tighter into a ball.  
Whereas Chester squints, Briana Eve smiles every time as she 
leads her men to the door near the projection screen.  Caspar 
and Dave notice.

When Briana Eve and her men are all through the door, Caspar 
assumes it is safe to speak though the door hasn't completely 
shut yet.

			CASPAR
	DAMN!  She must be BANGING all of 
	them!!!

Brian Eve opens the door, stands in the doorway, and stares at 
Caspar with her hands on her hips for a few seconds.  She 
doesn't seem angry, mad, or even offended.  She's just 
indifferent.  Then one corner of her mouth barely lifts up in 
an almost unseen smile, she turns around, and exits.

							FADE OUT